I knew the moment I held my son for the first time in my arms I would be "that mom." The kind that thought his coos and farts were precious, his squishy legs and wrists were yummy, and nothing in the world mattered when late night nursing sessions were at play. While I adore those moments still, they are quickly passing. We nurse less. We want dad more. We babble. We are cruising from couch to table, and try to even stand on our own. We have three "toofers" as Daddy and I call then. Three!
Please stop growing little one.
Everything we had prayed for had been compiled into one perfect eight-pound-six-ounce bundle of joy. Ezra's a boy with his own personality and quirks that make him who he is. People ask me all the time 'who is he most like?' and while he is equal parts of his Dad and I, he is entirely his own person. He gets upset when I cover the electrical outlets or don't let him eat the dog's food. He loves his bath time and snuggling with his mommy before bed. He can't decide if his hair is going to be red or curly yet, but he does know that he is a solid 11 month old baby wearing 18 month clothes. These are the moments I don't want to forget. I can't forget.
But every mountain has its valley. And if parenting isn't a valley sometimes in and of itself, I don't know what else is. There have been countless days my patience is tested, my anger resurfaces, my imperfections are glaring right at me and the road ahead seems all too daunting. I can't compete with Instagram moms - nor would I want to. Sometimes getting him fed and into clean pajamas after a long day's work is all I can manage. Mom's, can I get an amen?
Please stop growing little one.
But I haven't ever felt more loved in those moments. You know those moments where you feel completely depleted and at a total loss for words? Whether it be my husband, my baby or my close girlfriends, I cherish those moments. So empty but yet so alive. So much so, that I write down when good things happen to remind myself at a later date to not obsess about the details and chose to be emotionally present in that space. Can you relate? Those too are the moments I don't want to forget. I can't forget.
As much as I want to freeze his baby stage forever, I cannot stop him from growing. I can't stop him from getting in trouble or making the basketball team. Someday he will grow into an incredible man. And even then, I want him to know that staying right where he is is not an option.
So my message has to change. Never stop growing little one. Just not too fast, okay?
Mommy loves you to infinity and beyond.
Please stop growing little one.
Everything we had prayed for had been compiled into one perfect eight-pound-six-ounce bundle of joy. Ezra's a boy with his own personality and quirks that make him who he is. People ask me all the time 'who is he most like?' and while he is equal parts of his Dad and I, he is entirely his own person. He gets upset when I cover the electrical outlets or don't let him eat the dog's food. He loves his bath time and snuggling with his mommy before bed. He can't decide if his hair is going to be red or curly yet, but he does know that he is a solid 11 month old baby wearing 18 month clothes. These are the moments I don't want to forget. I can't forget.
But every mountain has its valley. And if parenting isn't a valley sometimes in and of itself, I don't know what else is. There have been countless days my patience is tested, my anger resurfaces, my imperfections are glaring right at me and the road ahead seems all too daunting. I can't compete with Instagram moms - nor would I want to. Sometimes getting him fed and into clean pajamas after a long day's work is all I can manage. Mom's, can I get an amen?
Please stop growing little one.
But I haven't ever felt more loved in those moments. You know those moments where you feel completely depleted and at a total loss for words? Whether it be my husband, my baby or my close girlfriends, I cherish those moments. So empty but yet so alive. So much so, that I write down when good things happen to remind myself at a later date to not obsess about the details and chose to be emotionally present in that space. Can you relate? Those too are the moments I don't want to forget. I can't forget.
As much as I want to freeze his baby stage forever, I cannot stop him from growing. I can't stop him from getting in trouble or making the basketball team. Someday he will grow into an incredible man. And even then, I want him to know that staying right where he is is not an option.
So my message has to change. Never stop growing little one. Just not too fast, okay?
Mommy loves you to infinity and beyond.
Comments
Post a Comment